Life…

First it’s the numbness. Your mind whispering, “it can’t be”, “don’t believe it” well yeah that’s currently where I am. Oh sorry, what am I talking about? Failure I am talking about failing at something you gave your best shot at. Well at least that’s what my family keeps saying and I am slowly trying to convince myself too. I am writing this post at a moment of shock (not severe, just mild) but shocked at how this is my life right now, shocked by reality, shocked by the trying time God is putting me through. This failure has not sunk in just yet, I am trying to tell my brain what I think I am being told, that I am not smart enough, that I should have tried harder, that that wasn’t my best, just give up… all these thoughts are floating in my head at this very moment but I still find peace of mind. Peace that comes from knowing that even in this storm, My God is still God. There comes great joy with knowing who God is and knowing what He is able to do. My God has never failed me and if this is His will then let it be done. See, I don’t know what’s next in my life, where to from here, or how I will pick myself up from this and face life head on. But there is one thing that remains unchanged MY GOD IS STILL GOD.  I have walked a journey, through deserts and stormy seas, through forests, avalanches, volcanoes and even through warzones. What my fellow humans would call hell I have been able to survive, I know not the secret, I don’t know they how’s and the whys but I know very well that it was because God had it all planned out. I trust Him to come through, to pick me up and help me move on from this ordeal, to remind me why I started and remind me of the potential in me and the passion in my heart and of course of His perfect plan. I will confess, When I started writing this very blog post I had not accepted my failure, but by remembering all that God has done for me and is capable of doing, I think I might as well say “It is well with my soul.

 

Charles Jenkins- Awesome.

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