People don’t often realise the impact their words have on other people. I know some people call themselves honest and blunt… when your words cut through a person’s heart, and like a tattoo remain there for as long as they live, do you want an applause for being honest and blunt? Don’t get me wrong, I am all for honesty but if I ask you if my jeans make me look fat, all I want to hear from you is yes/ no (although preferably no) that is you being honest. You telling me the jeans do justice to my enormous hips, since I’m bigger than a hippo and telling me it doesn’t help that I had ice cream this afternoon, comparing me to A, B and C, is that your idea of honest? I give this as an example it doesn’t always have to do with weight, other things apply too. I guess I give weight as an example because I have developed my skin to become bulletproof to the hurtful words that people say to your face sometimes even behind your back. I thought it was because we weren’t all brought up the same, but I’m starting to realise this has nothing to do with anything. Its basic respect no one should ever have to teach you, it just comes to you, you teach yourself…whatever. But it has nothing to do with how you were raised. The other day I was talking to a friend and I told her how I would like to meet my childhood bully… (I call him bully because I am familiar to the word now, back then I ignored him and the hurtful things he said. It wasn’t physical, so you can relax now. Bullying is however an important topic we need to discuss someday.) that guy made me feel small at a very crucial point in my life, I don’t know if anyone else is starting to discover that they remember almost most of the things that happened to them in primary school. I tend to feel not so confident, and some days I reprimand myself and get back up. Some days I just play back the hurtful words and bury myself in self-pity. When they all start flooding in my mind, and hurt like a fresh wound I cry myself to sleep. Isn’t life great? Today you may be the shoulder someone cries on and tomorrow you may need to cry on their shoulder. Well this guy, I don’t think I will ever forget him. He forms a big part of the baggage I don’t want to be carrying from the past but I always find myself being weighed down by it. He made me question everything I thought I knew about myself, he made me self-conscious in a not so good way. I was a smart girl in primary school, I was best reader for so many years, and my teachers loved me, I was class representatives for most of my primary life, I was a nice person so nice I let people copy my homework (I am not proud, but I could not say no), I laughed with literally everyone, I was helpful, I sang in the choir, I did drama…well I’m sure you have a picture of the kind of person I was. There is absolutely no reason why I would doubt myself, until that guy. If you know the Adam and Eve story you will know that they were living in perfect peace until, the snake introduced doubt into their pure minds. I think this guy qualifies the snake in the story of my life. Why did I bring him up again? Oh, because I was saying people hardly notice the impact their words have on other people. Please do not be the reason someone never wears shorts again, never tries out for sport or debate, never sings in front of an audience, and never lives their life to their fullest potential. Spread love, love is all we need. I know I sound like a naïve little girl, trust me I am not but I know the power of lover.
Your words have the power to build and to break, choose wisely.