I was going through the pictures I have on my phone the other day and I came across a picture of a “friend”, inverted commas because we are not really besties but I am calling her friend because we are close. She is older than me, so she qualifies to be my sister. Anyway, she lost so much weight and she looks really great not that she didn’t look great before, but you understand. I have been trying to lose weight all my life, no jokes I tried not eating once and I collapsed. Now that that’s out of the way, I recently joined the gym and I thought I should do it the healthy way, the right way. So, the picture right? I texted her and I said hey, I am still in awe of how far you have come and I want to let you know that you are doing really well and you look great. She replied to the text and she said her thanks and she feels great too blah blah. My compliment started a conversation however and it got to a point where I asked if she had any tips to give me since I was also trying my luck, she flat out said “I also don’t know how I do it hey”. You probably think she is being modest and she probably thinks she’s still overweight, let me stop that idea train. She is very happy with how she looks, her social media accounts are all proof, the gym selfies? trust me, her response was far from modesty.

Let me just a drift away a bit and tell you about some videos I was watching on youtube the other day, they are from Nedbank, they are called talks for success and they feature celebrities who share their success stories. Bonang Matheba was one of them. She shares her rise to success so honestly, she talks about how much she had to work to be where she is and gives the most inspiring motivational talk.

What does my “friend” have to do with Bonang? Everything! Bonang is famous, she is successful, she has made it and she knows she has made it. She worked hard to be where she is and wants other people to be just as great as she is someday. She is a successful person who wants another person to succeed. Aha, now you are getting it. My “friend” has made it, and she knows she has made it. She does not want to share her secret because if she does it may work for me and I too may lose weight. She wants me to take the hard way she took and find out for myself what the secret is.

I have heard people say the definition of success varies between people, but I think we all agree that “helping someone shine their light will not make yours dim”


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